do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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