there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
