Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
