Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize