they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
