i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize