Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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