11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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