apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
