Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
