went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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