...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
