I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
