Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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