just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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