I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
