I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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