I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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