Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
