sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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