I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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