member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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