This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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