someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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