i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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