He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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