; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
