How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
