Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
