Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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