it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is the prime rib incident all over again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
