I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
