I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
