I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
