it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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