YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
