party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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