Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
