I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize