Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Four minutes until I can fart!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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