Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
