just come out here and I will go home with you...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize