My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
