You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
