Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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