i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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