so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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