the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
