Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
