you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
