Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
