Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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