I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
