dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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