Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
