There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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