she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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