big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
