Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
