I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
