i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
