If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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