Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
