I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
