maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How does one acquire holy water?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
