no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
