hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize